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How to get paid to sit on a beach and write

In 2015, Lahaina Grill was voted "Best Maui Restaurant" for the 22nd consecutive year. You could get paid to sit in the grill, or on the beach out front, knocking out paragraphs for a living. It's tough work, but somebody's gotta do it.

One thing though: you'll need to know how to run a virtual story conference. Luckily, Free Web Conferencing is easier than writing or editing.

And who knows, the job interview might even be held by conference call too! It’s kind of nice to have to spruce up for a job interview without dusting off your suit. Think you're up for it?

Why companies hire beach bums

Companies are cool with paying writers to sit wherever they like to slave over a hot manuscript because it saves them the $20,000 a year that the average cubicle in a downtown office tower costs per writer.

Companies have tried outsourcing too, but the quality can be very patchy, and they have little control over their workforce. Businesses have tried reducing costs by Hot Desking, but Web Officing is just better. It's as free as a conference call.

Teleconferencing also allows companies the freedom to hire writers from anywhere. If they get a big technical writing contract about Metallurgy, but there are no qualified writers in their city, Web Officing saves the day.

Telecommuting frees companies from overhead and investment, and gives them the ultimate flexibility to get the right people for each job.

Publisher's Note:

Occasionally rumors circulate that the real reason Respected Publishing Companies favor Web Officing over cubicle use has to do with writers being perceived as socially inept. For instance answering "How's it going?" with convoluted personal stories, or buttonholing senior executives in elevators to read them experimental poetry.

These rumors are groundless.

While it is true that writers do commit egregious corporate dress code violations such as wearing socks under sandals, or elbow patches on tweed jackets, or in fact, wearing tweed jackets at all, these are not substantial reasons why Publishers consider it beneficial to employ writers virtually with the aid of web-based story conferencing.

The truth is, conference calls are free, and cubicles are expensive.

How to set up virtual story conferences

Setting up an online story conference is about as easy as ordering mahi-mahi from one of the Lahaina Grill's handsome waiters, but if you want to sound knowledgeable in your job interview at Beach Bum Writer Inc., why not set up a practice conference call between five of your far-flung family members on somebody's birthday? Then you can drop the teleconference lingo smoothly under pressure.

Here's how you do it:

  1. First, log in at Easier than logging in to Facebook. No dumb questions about what high school you went to, nothing to download. It's all in the Cloud.\
  2. Next, use Call Scheduling to enter the email addresses of your participants. Then find out when they are available with Google Calendar Sync or the handy Outlook Add-In. Once you have a date, send them all Invitations. Make life easy for them by setting up some automatic Reminders, and shoot them a Toll Free Number for ultimate convenience. Use the Recurring Calls feature to set up repeat conference calls in seconds, while adding or subtracting participants from drop down menus.
  3. The fun begins! When your call is due, pop into your online Personal Meeting Room and set the Moderator Controls to make sure there is no background noise. Web Officing is amazing because you all share the same desktop on your laptops with Free Screen Sharing. You can also see each other's faces because you are Video Conferencing.
  4. When it's all over, if you have engaged Conference Call Recording you'll get an email within two hours with an MP3 file attached of the complete proceedings. You can have it Transcribed if you want easy meeting minutes. Who knows? A group of writers and editors may come up with all kinds of verbal brilliance, and you don't want to lose it. If you record your job interview, you can play back those wonderful words "You're hired," whenever you feel like a pick-me-up. 

Don't get sand in your keyboard

The ability to run a virtual story conference is an important skill you will need to land a virtual writing job, whether it is from the beach in front of the Lahaina Grill, or a big sandbox in your own backyard.

Luckily, conference calls are free and easy, because the infrastructure for Free Web Conferencing is all stored in the Cloud. You can access it from anywhere, at any time, with just your cellphone, using the Mobile Conference Call App.

TV commercials used to make jokes about people attending meetings from golf courses without their bosses knowing, but nowadays companies actually prefer Web Officing, because it saves so much money, and gives them the freedom to hire the right people.

And writers like it too! Although most of us insist that badgering innocent bystanders with snippets of 13th century poetry and wearing socks under our sandals during work hours is just a "perk." A modern "virtual office" perk.

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